IS LAKE MICHIGAN LEAKING

By Tim Colin
Last summer I decided to go over to the town on Frankfort which is located on Lake Michigan. The problem is that when I got to Lake Michigan I found that it was almost gone. Lake Michigan had been reduced to just a hole that was less than a hundred yards across. I could see Utah. If I could get a valid Visa I would have swam over there to see my Mormon cousins. I love to travel to foreign countries.

Looking at Lake Michigan I could tell something was wrong. I have a scientific background (I took a geosciences class in 10Th grade). I kept looking at looking at Lake Michigan and it suddenly struck me that if this great lake had almost no water left in it then, the question should be “where did all the water go?’.

I started to remember that there was some guy named Al Gorekon, or Gornon or Gorman or something who said that the world was getting warmer. I wondered if maybe the world had gotten so warm that the water had boiled away out of Lake Michigan. All this thinking was giving me a real headache. After all, I only wanted to go fishing that day so, I decided to head over to the nearest pizza/bar and eat/drink my headache away.

After about a half hour at the pizza/bar, I started to feel comfortable talking to the strangers who sat around me. I said that it looks like Lake Michigan is boiling away. Two people got up and left the bar. The bartender then told me that if I didn’t shut up about global warming he’d kick my commie ass out the door. I decided to move to a private table. I ordered a pitcher of beer and went over to a table that was in a remote corner of the bar/pizza establishment.

I did not sit there for long before a scruffy, bearded old guy from the bar came over to my table and sat down with his mug of beer. I immediately thought that this guy is either gay or he wants me to share my pitcher of beer with him. In either case the answer would be “no”. The bearded, weirdo then said to me that he knew where there was a secret hole. He said I needed to come with him and he would show it to me.

“Now why would I want to go see your hole? I asked.

“Because I’m telling you I’m a scientist. I know why Lake Michigan is drying up.”

After I finished off my pitcher of beer I was pretty much game for anything so, I agreed to go and look at the scruffy mans old hole. I told him that looking was all I would do. I was emphatic that I would never climb down into it. I said that ever since I was a teenager I was very afraid of cold, dark places.

The old guy and I walked down to Lake Michigan. True to his word he showed me this deep hole which seemed to be sucking everything into it. I was truly amazed. It was like nothing I had ever seen before. Lake Michigan was gurgling down into an abyss. It was not global warming that was destroying Lake Michigan. Instead, it was some sort of large hole that seemed to be sucking Lake Michigan water into some sort of alternate dimension. But, where is the water ending up. If I had my brother with me I would have sent him into the hole to find out. For now, it must remain a great mystery. The water might be flowing into an alternate universe or, it might be getting sucked up by the bottled water plant down the road.

100921

LIZARD BOY, A REAL MICHIGAN MONSTER

It has come to our attention that there is a strange creature lurking in North Western Michigan and his name is Lizard Boy. Many recent campers have cited this creature usually lying in the dirt slurping up worms and bugs. This would not be unusual for any creatures living in Northern Michigan including the people that live outside of town however, whenever Lizard Boy sees a person, he gets up on his hind legs, looks the person in the eye, they Lizard Boy runs away on his back legs with his long tail flapping behind him.

Besides his aforementioned flat tail, Lizard Boy is described as having a gray/brownish body with black bands on his tail. He also has four toes and four fingers with little suction cups on the ends of his fingers. His eyes are round and his mouth is what many describe, as a round suction cup. Lizard Boy is about 6-15 inches long. Below you can see a rough sketch done by our forensic scientist/sketch type person. This sketch is based upon over 100 sitings of Lizard Boy although, no one really knows if Lizard Boy is a boy, a girl or an it. The sketch is posted below at the bottom of this page.

Upon showing our sketch to the local Department Of Resources (DNR) Agents, they just laughed and said they had "...never seen anything like that before!!!". We asked the DNR if Lizard boy might be from some other world? The DNR responded that "based upon the sketch and descriptions of this creature, it is just as likely it comes from outer space...".

The person who had the closest encounter with this "alien" was a Mrs. Paula Blinder from the town of Wild Imagination Michigan. Paula stated, "I got up out of my tent one morning and there was this lizard thing cooking bacon on my camp stove. The thing looked at me, scrunched up its sucker mouth a couple of times, slurped down my bacon and took off on his back legs, running into the woods. I never saw him again after that but, that picture you have looks just like him."

So, that's the story of Lizard Boy. We can only hope that this Lizard Boy is not just a baby. We can only hope that there is not some bigger Lizard Momma or Lizard Daddy out there waiting to eat even larger pieces of your bacon. Maybe this creature is just a part of an invasion force from another planet. Let us hope not or all of our bacon will be in jeopardy.

121923

GIANT ALIEN BRAIN DESTROYED THE DINOSAURS

By Tim Collin

Editor in Chief

Writer

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What do we really know about the Petoskey Stone? We know it is only found in a very specific region on the planet Earth. That region is Northern Lake Michigan extending up to Lake Superior. Several sites on the internet explain that the petoskey stone is a fossilized coral from the Devonian Era which would make the stone approximately 350 million years old. We have found someone with a very different opinion.

In an old gravel pit about ten miles west of Traverse City, there is a Petoskey stone dig site managed by Professor I. M. Alyar. Professor Alyar teaches Paleontology, Astrophysics, Alien Psychology and, Human Proctology at the Bare Truth Online Institute of Education and Adult Photo Journalism.

We caught up with Professor Alyar at the dig site to ask him about the theory he was advocating regarding the origin of the Petoskey Stone. The Professor had previously contacted us and said he would pay us $50.00 to publish a story about his “Origin of the Petoskey Stone” theory. After some intense negotiations, the Professor also agreed to pay for our gas. The following is an outline of the theory as he explains it:

“The Petoskey Stone came to my attention as I noticed that people were making a lot of money picking up these stones and selling them on EBay and to tourists. I remembered that my uncle I. Ben Alyar owned this old gravel pit where I picked up petoskey stones as an under graduate student. It then occurred to me that I could get a government grant that would pay me a salary to do research on the petoskey stone for a couple of years. So last year I began digging up petoskey stones for research and the extra stones I sell for money (cash only, no receipt if you want any).

Well, last week I received a letter from the government wanting to know why I haven’t published any papers on my findings. The letter went on to say that if I were fraudulently obtaining grant money that I could be prosecuted if I did not return the money with interest. I like most people in Michigan have a penchant for Black Jack so; I have no money to give back and no published paper.

Then, suddenly it hit me. As I was in the bar located out on the highway, I suddenly realized that the petoskey stone seemed to look a lot like a piece of gray brain matter. But, not just any gray matter. Animal gray matter does not have those eyes. Then, I realized that those were not eyes but, they were individual cells. These were cells to the brain of some incredible creature. Brain cells of incredible size that must have belonged to a massive brain. This brain had died 350 million years ago and had been fossilized over time. It all made sense. Over eons of years, glaciers broke up the fossil and scattered brain cells all across Northern Michigan.

But, I asked myself, where does this giant brain come from? There is no evidence in the fossil records to indicate this creature ever existed. Finally, I concluded that this creature was not of this world. It was in fact a creature from outer space that most likely died upon impact with our planet over 350 million years ago.

The fact that the creature had or was a giant brain means it must have been physic. This makes sense because many physics use this stone for healing or to go into trances to see the future. I should charge more money for the stones I sell. Perhaps a medical research facility will be built in my name to study the medical uses of the Petoskey Stone.”

Because the Professor kept rambling on, I shut off my recorder. We of course believe everything he postulated. True to our word, we are publishing his theories now. A couple of days ago the Professor was arrested. This is too bad because we were thinking of making him our official scientific advisor. Yesterday I received a call from the Professor asking if I would use the $50.00 he gave me to help bail him out of jail. I told him that unfortunately, I was a problem gambler and lost the money playing foosball.

ODE TO THE PETOSKEY STONE
By I. M. Alyar
Oh vain,
Petoskey stone,
Are you an alien brain,
Or seaweed bone,

Why do you lay,
And splash on the beach?
Have you something to say?
Have you something to teach?

Maybe your looks,
Can make me some pay,
I'll polish you up,
To sell on eBay.

PP10122021

THE RAT WITH THE GIANT BRAIN

SHIVA THE RAT: DESTROYER OF MY WORLD
By Gerrard

I got a call today telling me that I had to come down here and write a 1,000 word story for Humor News Nuts publications. I guess I was the only one home because everyone else is out on the lakes having fun. So here I am. I have never been allowed to write anything before. I hope I don’t get in trouble.

I’m not sure if my story qualifies as a space alien type adventure. It was really weird and that says a lot coming from a guy who raises rats for a living. I guess I have to start telling the story now. I hope I just added enough fill words to put my blog over 1,000 words when I’m done.

To begin with, I live in my mom’s basement and raise rats for a living. . It is a big basement and I have several thousand rats in it. I raise the rats to sell to business and colleges. If you wear makeup, there is a good chance one of my rats had it on before you did. And, if you ever had open heart surgery chances are the surgeon that performed it learned how to do so on one of my rats. I raised all my rats from babies and I am happy about what my children have achieved. I hope that one day one of my rats will go into outer space. I’ll be a proud papa then, that’s for sure. It’s too bad girls don’t see my profession to be as exciting as I do.

I’m afraid I have digressed from the story. What happened to me involved rats? The one rat was a really smart little buddy of mine named Ernie. He was my best friend when I was in high school. You see my family has always been in the rat business and I just took it over when my dad died. Ernie could count up to six and even write the first two letters of his name “ER”.

I was never going to sell Ernie. For one think he was a fluke. You see I have both white rats and black rats. It seems different institutions want different colored rats. I guess the humans are prejudiced about color but, rats are not. One day one of my really smart black rats picked the lock on his cage and sneaked into the cage of a little white beauty. The result was the grey rat named Ernie. Ernie got his daddy’s brains and was my favorite rat from the time he was born looking so different from all the rest.

A few weeks after he was born, Ernie was already an adult rat and was looking for love in all the wrong places. I caught him sneaking out the basement on several occasions. He was going out to hang out with those wild rats that hunt the dumpsters at night and chew into grocery stores to nibble on packages of cheese. I felt certain my friend would come to a really bad end. Most of the stores out there have traps set for rats. Of course there are also rat thugs who will eat off an ear if you look cross eyed at them. I tried to talk some sense into Ernie but, our long talks did not help at all.

One day I came down stairs and there was a large brown rat busily working on my computer. I was shocked. Ernie had brought a street rat into our home. I also wondered how a rat would know how to type on a keyboard let alone be so proficient. I did know the rat did not know what it was doing since the monitor was nothing but a bunch of numbers and math symbols with letters cubed and squared all over the place. Ernie was just sitting there beside the big brown rat looking at the monitor as the brown rat was typing away. Then, the big brown rat stopped typing, turned its’ head around and said, “I am Shiva, the destroyer of your world. I am Ernie is my boyfriend. You got a problem with that rat boy?” The big rat barred its teeth at me.”

“I don’t have any problem,” I said. I then walked to my bed that was in the far corner of the basement and lay down and pretended to go to sleep. All the while I kept one eye open watching Ernie’s new girlfriend type away on my computer. I was hoping she was not ordering stuff on line. Mom will be really mad if she has to pay for a bunch of stuff.

A few days later a short, bald, middle aged man in a suit came knocking at the front door. I opened it. The man held out a badge and said that he was detective Mike Ivan Black of the Traverse City police department and he was interested in talking to a man named Ernie who went by the nickname ER. “I’ll let you talk to him but, you won’t like it,” I said. “

I took the detective downstairs and introduced him to Ernie. Ernie just sat there and made little squeaky noises. The policeman was really mad. “Do you realize that you can go to jail for obstruction of justice rat boy?” the detective yelled.

“Sorry,” I apologized.

The detective then told me that there had been a series of graffiti pictures drawn all over the down town area and each was signed by Ernie or ER. The policeman said he knew to come to my address because the culprits also left their address under each signature. Before the policeman left he promised that he would be back with a warrant. Two days past and he never came back.

I went down to the basement one day and Shiva was busily working on my computer. ER was looking befuddled at the stuff Shiva was typing after all; he could only count to six. I figured he must have really been in love with that girl since usually he lost interest in numbers once he counted up to six. Big numbers made him wander off to sniff rat droppings or scratch him. But now, poor Ernie did not want to leave the side of Shiva the super rat.

“Oh by the way,” Shiva said to me “I took care of that detective. He won’t be coming around here anymore. And, how did you like that liver dinner Left out for you last night?”

I shuddered “I thought mom made that dinner for me and left it out,” I was in tears

“No I cooked the liver just for you Gerard. I also fixed that homemade bratwurst on a bun you had for lunch today. It’s made from an old family recipe.”

I was extremely ill then, down the steps came detective Black carrying a large suitcase. I was relieved and very frightened at the same time. I was relieved that he was alive but, I was frightened as to what the detective might be going to do to me for harboring an evil rat like Shiva.

The detective walked over to the computer station and opened his case. “You need to keep your mouth shut rat boy,” the detective said to me. Shiva and I are special undercover agents for the Rat Bureau of Investigations. We are trying to infiltrate an army of super intelligent rats who are plotting to take over the world and replace mankind as the dominant species your friend Ernie is our newest recruit.” That was all the agent said.

Meanwhile, Shiva hit a button on my computer and permanently fried my entire system. Shiva then jumped into the case and said “come on sugar pants” to Ernie. My friend jumped into the case and the policeman shut up the case and walked up the stairs and out the door. I never saw Ernie again.

I did receive an X-mass card a few years ago that I think came from Ernie. All that was written inside were the initials ER and the numbers 1, 2, 3,4,5,6.

INVASION OF THE TENT WORMS FROM OUTER SPACE

By Ted Collin

Day 1
The Attacks
This is the year of the great invasion of tent worm caterpillars. They are several times more numerous than previous years and, seem to be devouring everything that their mouths come into contact with. Several half eaten cattle, deer and, buffalo have been found near the Sleeping Bear Dunes in Northern Michigan. The dunes themselves have very little vegetation left on them. We investigators who are in the know, know this area to be known as AREA 91. In other words, this is like the outer space stuff that goes on at Area 51 except, you can tell by the bigger number that stuff that goes on at Area 91 is far bigger.

After poring over countless government files at the local tax assessors office, we have concluded that area 91 had a crash landing of a craft from outer space about 65 million years ago. This was of course at the time the dinosaurs died out and became extinct. We of course, by using multiple regression analysis came to the conclusion that the crash of the space ship caused the dinosaurs to die out. But, how did the crash affect the dinosaurs and what does that have to do with tent worms? The more we investigate this puzzle it seems the more pieces don’t fit like they should. It was evident that, we will have to force the pieces of this puzzle to fit together so that everything would come out just as we imagined it would. We were desperate researchers trying to stop the carnage of plants and animals by these extra terrestrial tent worms.

In order to fight the menace we at Outer Space News Nuts decided to break into three teams. The twins Laurie and Carrie, would check out the country side to find out the status of the alien invasion. My brothers Tim and Mike will go to area 91 itself and sniff sound on the sand dunes. I and Gerard, the guy that raises rats in his basement, have chosen to stay out of the front line of fire and will instead interview whoever we think can shed some light on this invasion force. Perhaps, we will stop them yet.

Day 2
The Reports Are In And It Is Not Good!!!
Tim and Mike were the first ones to make a report today. They went exploring at the Sand Dunes. They did not find the secret portal that opens up to the secret pentagon black box military base that lies beneath the dunes however, Tim and Mike did find vast swaths of vegetation missing from the sand. Along long areas of beach, there were wide areas between the water and where the vegetation started. It seems the evil beasties have carved large swaths along our Northern Beaches leaving nothing but sand behind them. It seems, these tent worms must eat organic life forms and leave silicon (sand) behind as their excrement. This is important information but, we don’t know what is so important about it? This is just one more piece of that puzzle that we are going to cram into a spot where we think it should go.

The twins reported back today that they indeed found vast areas of fruit trees where the leaves were completely eaten from the trees. A couple of leaves were found with bite imprints on them and these bite marks were immediately sent to our dentist for analysis. It seems our space aliens are not so perfect after all. Our dentist said the bite marks indicated a distinct over bite which accounts for the hideous appearance of the creature when you look directly into his face. Our Dentist also stated that judging by all the plaque left in the bite marks that our extraterrestrial friends do not brush and floss after every meal. Perhaps their poor oral hygiene might cause them to loose their teeth prematurely from periodontal disease. This is the first good news we’ve had since this crisis began.

Gerard and I played Foosball all day and drank beer. Tonight we went to the bar to play pool and watch the Tigers play (they won by the way and I‘m up another five bucks). I also won us a pitcher of beer playing pool and I won another pitcher of beer in a darts tournament. I feel so relaxed right now I almost don’t care about those creepy crawly things that eat up everything. My strategy to unwind has worked.

Day 3
The relaxation strategy that Gerard and I employed yesterday was a way for us to try to keep our heads clear during this crisis. Drinking beer all day and all night has given us the clarity of mind we need to find out how to stop these many footed creatures that live only to devour our flesh and blood and suck the chlorophyll out of our mobility challenged plant brothers. Yesterday, my brothers ( real brothers not plant brothers) and the twins, went out to gather information on the damage the space and/or time traveling tent worms have caused. Today it's Gerard and my turn at bat. We have lined up an expert to interview. This interview is so good that I’m sure we will prevail in saving the world from the tent worms. The consequences of our failure is unacceptable. On to the interview.

2 Hours Later
Gerard called in sick today. It seems he must have caught the flu at the bar last night. Or maybe he can’t face me today because I was winning all the sports contests last night. Because of my athletic abilities last night, I remember being the most popular guy at the bar. I was a lot more popular than Gerard was that's for sure. I’m also a lot better looking than Gerard. Just being around him gives most people the creeps, especially the ladies. I know I’m feeling much less creepy today without him around and I kind of like the guy.

Even without Gerard I will go ahead with my interview with our special secret scientist guest, Dr. Leon Notallthere. Dr. Notallthere was the first person to be barred from flying on airplanes. He was not just barred from domestic flights but, he has been banned from getting on any aircraft anywhere in the world. He can’t even pay to go up in a hot air balloon. It seems Dr. Notallthere was in a tussle with the pilot of an aircraft back in the 1950’s. The two men hadn’t even boarded the plane yet when they got in smack down match over a parking space at the airport.

Although the doctor has had his problems at airports, many admire him for his ability to stand up to authority figures and insist that things are done right. In addition, Doctor Notallthere is considered an expert in his field by several locals.

“Doctor Notallthere, I understand you are an expert in the field of extraterrestrial tent worms.”

“First of all,” interrupted Notallthere, “ I am an expert but not in extraterrestrial tent worms. Secondly, I am not a doctor. I never received a PhD. I have a masters degree.”

“In science?” I asked.

“No, replied Notallthere,” I have a masters degree in international fly fishing though the Calgary International Fly Fishing Institute in Calgary Canada.”

“You attended school in Canada?” I asked.

“No, I’ve never been to Canada. I received my degree on line. It costs me $397.00 (Canadian) and nearly six weeks of my life.”

“So, when I talked to you on the phone and explained our situation you said you could be of great service to us in saving the earth from tent worms. What did you mean?”

“I meant if you would reimburse my $397.00 (Canadian) tuition from fly fishing college, I will tell you how to kill these creatures. I‘m a fisherman. I know all about all types of worms. Even caterpillars. I know all about anything you can stick on a fish hook for bait.”

Since I was desperate, I agreed to his terms with one change, instead of paying him $397.00 in Canadian currency I would pay him an even $400.00 in good old American made $5.00 off coupons at the pizza place across the street. Mr. Notallthere thanked me for giving him the coupons since he wasn’t sure how he would spend the Canadian money and $5.00 off pizza coupons is like money in the bank.

Day 4
We Strike Back
It seems the answer to our problem of how to defeat the evil outer space killer tent worms was no further away than the big goobers we all produce within our mouths and then try to find a place to spit them out. It seems these particular creatures die immediately when hit by high speed mouth mucus. In other words, we destroyed the tent worm army by spitting on them. My brother Mike wanted to eat the little fur balls but, Mr. Notallthere said the creatures were deadly poisonous and that consuming them was unnecessary. It seems lambasting the worms with spit was all it took to cause the fearsome creatures to wrap themselves up in a ball and simply wither away like Count Dracula when he is hit by sun light.

We were able to mobilize everyone in Nothern Michigan to start spitting at anything that moves. There was no motivation needed to get Michiganders to spit because, we spit all the time anyway. I guess the cold weather gives us lots of sinus action and who wants to swallow that stuff.

By the end of day four, no more outer space invading tent worms were left on our planet. Humanity prevailed. The plant and animal deaths caused by the visitors has ceased. All is well yet, there are so many unanswered questions regarding these creatures. For instance, we still do not know exactly how or why they chose to come to earth. We also do not know the location of the entrance to area 91. However, we will continue searching for an opening into the secret government base beneath the sand dunes knowing one day we will uncover it’s secrets.

I can’t help wondering that if the dinosaurs had figured out that they could wipe out the tent worm infection by just spitting on the worms. Perhaps if they had,the mighty dinosaurs would be with us today.

ALIEN CROP CIRCLES IN NORTHERN MICHIGAN

We have recently had a number of reported crop circle events in Norther Michigan. The farmers have been upset because we mainly have cherry orchards in the area where the crop circles have occurred. The problem is cherry trees do not snap back upright after a few days, they just die. The farmers have said it will take several years to replace the trees.

Personally, I went out to investigate the possibilities of crop circles turning up at one of the many vineyards in Northern Michigan. I never got out to look at the grapevines to see have messed up they might be by crop circles however, I did enjoy hoping from vineyard to vineyard tasting the wine and cheese. I almost bought a bottle at one place and then I saw the price was over $5.00 per bottle. I decided I'd stick to Boons Farm.

Many theories have arisen as to the cause of the crop circles. One is that Sasquatch is so powerful that he is pushing over trees to pick the fruit off of them. This seems plausible since Sasquatch is certainly powerful enough and cherries found in an orchard are a lot bigger and less bitter than the little ones you see in the wild.

Another theory is that lizard boy is now big enough to push over trees. This seems implausible since lizard boy was last seen just about a week ago still stealing bacon from campsites. He was still reported to be just a foot tall. He is still just a boy and is not even a tween yet let alone a teenager or adult lizard man monster.

The local authorities believe someone is going around with an all terrain vehicle, hitching a rope to each tree then, pulling them over. This seems implausible because it sounds silly. Who would do such a thing? If you're going to knock down a cherry tree just just a chain saw.

Finally, the only theory left is the one we have to assume is correct. That theory is that Aliens from outer space have been landing on our cherry trees and knocking them over with their anti-gravity beams. The anti-gravity beams are what the aliens use to hover over the ground. They also use the anti-gravity beams to hurl themselves away from the earth at the speed of light.

Recently, the crop circles have been becoming more elaborate. They are now making designs and writing messages with the knocked over trees. One message left by the space aliens indicates their home planets distance from earth. The message read "I Love Lucy". Since this was a popular show about 50 years ago we know the space aliens live about 50 light years away. This is the distance it took for the TV airwaves of "I Love Lucy" to reach our great alien communicators.

Some local figures have ridiculed the space alien theory. They ask why don't the aliens just come down and talk to us or at least send us an e-mail or a letter. The answers to these naysayers are simple. First, the aliens won't come down to talk to us because they think we are too violent and might try something. Second, they won't communicate with us via the Internet because they are afraid they might pick up a computer virus that could destroy their entire civilization. They may have seen "Independence Day". Finally, the aliens might be super environmentalists. By sending us mail they probably have considered how many trees were destroyed to create the paper, envelope and stamp. By not sending us mail they may have saved a tree.

ON OCTOBER 9TH, 2009: NASA ATTACKED THE MOON MEN

On October 9, 2009, NASA bombed the moon. This is a first strike against the ancient and very advanced civilization of creatures known as the Giant Leap. Many scientists expect a massive retaliation against North America will follow. This retaliation may affect the future of mankind for thousands of years. Some scientists believe we may not survive the retaliation. Many scientists believe that the lucky ones won’t survive the initial attack by the Giant Leap. Every scientist agrees that an attack by the Giant Leap will have catastrophic effects for mankind.

It is truly ironic that all this tension between our two planets began 40 years ago this month. Commander Buzz Alden of Apollo 11 was the first human to have direct contact with the Giant Leap. As Buzz stepped off the ladder that led from his lunar module he said some very garbled words that were immediately fixed to sound like “One small step for man, one giant leap for mankind.” In fact he actually said “One small leap is as big as a man, one Giant Leap could destroy mankind.”

The two races of Leap’s were waiting to greet the early astronauts. One race was known as the small (or Lesser Leap). The Lesser Leap was a race of slaves who served the Giant (or Giant Leap). All the races of Leap’s were completely covered in mated long tan hair with the exception of one giant eye toward the top of what might be described as a head. The mouth and nose were indistinguishable under the mass of hair. All Leap’s had two arms and hands with three fingers on each. They also had two legs and two feet with three toes on each foot. Overall, a Leap looks just like a big hairball with an eye and two arms and two legs.

The first negotiations between Leaps and humans went fine. NASA was allowed to land on specific spots on the moon in order to carry out research. The problems began when the Giant Leap noticed that NASA kept leaving a lot of debris on the moon after each mission. The Leap had kept the Moon pristine for millions of years but, after just one visit humans had left a mess. Further Apollo missions served to further aggravate the Leaps. Finally, stuff hit the fan when the Leap found that astronauts were dumping their waste on the moon. The Leap felt that this was equivalent to doing number two in a neighbor’s front yard. The Great Council of Leaps decided to ban NASA from ever returning to the moon.

Since NASA has been banned from the moon another great nation called China has been in constant contact with the Giant Leap. The transfer of technological knowledge from the Giant Leap to China has made the Chinese the greatest engine of manufacturing the earth has ever known.

Of course making China a manufacturing powerhouse was really an act of revenge against NASA and the United States. The plumes of poison that bellow out of Chinese smokestacks are destroying the air we breathe and, the stuff made in china is strung across our planet. You would think the Giant Leap would feel by now that they have their revenge against us for littering up the moon with our crap.
Unfortunately, NASA has decided that the Giant Leap are secretly processing anti-matter. Everyone that has ever studied Star Trek in science class knows that anti-matter is the most powerful source of energy in the universe. NASA believes that the Giant Leap are planning to build an anti-matter reactor on the moon. After the reactor is complete it is believed that the Giant Leap will be able to use a projected energy weapon against the Earth or any planet in the solar system thus, making the moon into a death star.

So, we will strike against the Giant Leap before they have completed their project. NASA is going to drop an atomic bomb on the scientific facilities that are set to begin creating anti-matter. According to NASA officials, the anti-matter must be destroyed before it is created. NASA officials point out that even if the Giant Leap don’t attack us directly, it would be terrible if some anti-matter were to one day end up in the hands of terrorists.

Now we all must wait to see if the Giant Leap retaliate after their anti-matter facility is destroyed. NASA has of course put out a lame cover story to pacify any armature astronomers who might happen to see the massive explosion on the moon. NASA has issued a press release stating that the explosion is for gathering moon dust by an orbiting satellite. The satellite will then analyze the dust to see if there is any water present. What is interesting is once the moon dust is supposedly analyzed the satellite would then hurl itself into the bomb’s crater thus, setting off a second explosion. It looks more like NASA wants to make sure the job of destroying the anti-matter facility is completed. If the first bomb only weakened the structure the second bomb finished it off.

PETOSKEY STONE BRAIN DESTROYED THE DINOSAURS

What do we really know about the Petoskey Stone? We know it is only found in a very specific region on the planet Earth. That region is Northern Lake Michigan extending up to Lake Superior. Several sites on the internet explain that the petoskey stone is a fossilized coral from the Devonian Era which would make the stone approximately 350 million years old. We have found someone with a very different opinion.

In an old gravel pit about ten miles west of Traverse City, there is a Petoskey stone dig site managed by Professor I. M. Alyar. Professor Alyar teaches Paleontology, Astrophysics, Alien Psychology and, Human Proctology at the Bare Truth Online Institute of Education and Adult Photo Journalism.

We caught up with Professor Alyar at the dig site to ask him about the theory he was advocating regarding the origin of the Petoskey Stone. The Professor had previously contacted us and said he would pay us $50.00 to publish a story about his “Origin of the Petoskey Stone” theory. After some intense negotiations, the Professor also agreed to pay for our gas. The following is an outline of the theory as he explains it:

“The Petoskey Stone came to my attention as I noticed that people were making a lot of money picking up these stones and selling them on EBay and to tourists. I remembered that my uncle I. Ben Alyar owned this old gravel pit where I picked up petoskey stones as an under graduate student. It then occurred to me that I could get a government grant that would pay me a salary to do research on the petoskey stone for a couple of years. So last year I began digging up petoskey stones for research and the extra stones I sell for money (cash only, no receipt if you want any).

Well, last week I received a letter from the government wanting to know why I haven’t published any papers on my findings. The letter went on to say that if I were fraudulently obtaining grant money that I could be prosecuted if I did not return the money with interest. I like most people in Michigan have a penchant for Black Jack so; I have no money to give back and no published paper.

Then, suddenly it hit me. As I was in the bar located out on the highway, I suddenly realized that the petoskey stone seemed to look a lot like a piece of gray brain matter. But, not just any gray matter. Animal gray matter does not have those eyes. Then, I realized that those were not eyes but, they were individual cells. These were cells to the brain of some incredible creature. Brain cells of incredible size that must have belonged to a massive brain. This brain had died 350 million years ago and had been fossilized over time. It all made sense. Over eons of years, glaciers broke up the fossil and scattered brain cells all across Northern Michigan.

But, I asked myself, where does this giant brain come from? There is no evidence in the fossil records to indicate this creature ever existed. Finally, I concluded that this creature was not of this world. It was in fact a creature from outer space that most likely died upon impact with our planet over 350 million years ago.

The fact that the creature had or was a giant brain means it must have been physic. This makes sense because many physics use this stone for healing or to go into trances to see the future. I should charge more money for the stones I sell. Perhaps a medical research facility will be built in my name to study the medical uses of the Petoskey Stone.”

Because the Professor kept rambling on, I shut off my recorder. We of course believe everything he postulated. True to our word, we are publishing his theories now. A couple of days ago the Professor was arrested. This is too bad because we were thinking of making him our official scientific advisor. Yesterday I received a call from the Professor asking if I would use the $50.00 he gave me to help bail him out of jail. I told him that unfortunately, I was a problem gambler and lost the money playing foosball.

ODE TO THE PETOSKEY STONE
By I. M. Alyar
Oh vain,
Petoskey stone,
Are you an alien brain,
Or seaweed bone,

Why do you lay,
And splash on the beach?
Have you something to say?
Have you something to teach?

Maybe your looks,
Can make me some pay,
I'll polish you up,
To sell on EBay.

THE MONSTER ON THE MOON REVISITED

Today the government has admitted that the moon has more water on it then has been acknowledged in the past. For decades the U.S. government has been telling the America people that we can not return to the moon because there is not any water there. Liar, Liar pants on fire. Evidently, some whistle blower was getting ready to blow his whistle on the Feds. Out of panic, we now know there are oceans of water on the moon but, the water looks like the soil in dads' vegetable garden; dry, dusty sand. In lieu of these new developments, we are republishing an earlier story entitled:

THE MONSTER ON THE MOON
By Tim Collin
Recently, we celebrated the 40Th anniversary of the first humans to land on the moon. What I cannot believe is that after 40 years, what is unbelievable is that we do not have a moon colony at the present time. In fact, there is a great debate as to whether or not we should ever go back to the moon. The thought that mankind will never go back to the moon is very troubling. It takes the wind out of your sails when you’re shooting alien beings on your computer at work. It’s like life does not matter at all since you will never get the chance to kill real space aliens or blast off into space with hot chicks like O’hora, Seven of Nine or, Topal. Is this the end for manned space flight? Will emasculated space drones be the only connection humans have with the great infinity which is space?

But wait, there is an alternate scenario for maned space flight put forward by none other than the first astronauts to land on the moon. These men argue that instead of going to the moon we should simply skip the moon and do not pass go and, go directly to Mars. The original astronauts to the moon seem emphatic that we should not return to the moon but, should go directly to Mars although, Mars is at best a little over six months from Earth and the moon is at most three days. In addition, blasting off a mission to Mars from the moon would be cheaper, much more energy efficient and, just plain super smart compared to blasting off from Earth which amounts to sitting on a keg of gun powder and lighting a fuse with the hope of going up.

After an extensive investigation, there seems to be a reason our former moon walkers and our government never want to travel back to the moon. To find the answer you need go no further than the speech Buzz Aldrin gave when he first set foot on the moon way back in 1969. He said this is “One small step for a man, one giant leap for mankind.” It is so obvious. What is a “Giant Leap”? The speech had nothing to do with the articulation of the feet. Instead, Buzz actually meant that this was first contact with an alien race. The name of this moon based race was “ The Giant Leap”. We need information to explain the disaster that was our first contact. Unfortunately, no posthumous tell all publications written by our astronauts has surfaced yet. Therefor, for now we do not know what happened but, our Astronauts had a few negotiations with The Leap but, evidently the Leap told our guys to leave the moon and never come back.

Well, it seems American astronauts for some reason, are afraid of the Leap. However, China has announced plans to go to the moon and take it over but,in reality they will just be helping to set up factories on the moon which will be run by the Giant Leap.

We Americans of course, don’t care about what the Chinese people do. What we do care about is the new virtual oriented machines that are coming out of China. Communicating with each other and games are the backbone of the American lifestyle. Of course, the Giant Leap are the greatest makers of video games and communications equipment in the galaxy. This is logical. The Giant Leap live on the moon. There is no more baron place than our moon. It's dry, dusty and does not even have an atmosphere. There is nothing to do on the moon except perfect video games and cell phones.

China makes no bones about it's unholy alliance with the moon aliens known as the Giant Leap. The Giant Leaps have many slaves available amongst the other creatures on the moon known as the little leaps. The little leaps will be making the stuff that the Chinese can export to the United States and the rest of the world and make great profits. The technology of the Giant Leap and the factory efficiency of the Chinese. The next generation of techno nerds will have games we can only dream about. Perhaps our astronauts will be playing these games on their long trip to Mars.

Meanwhile back here on Earth, we will be going deeper and deeper into debt buying all our technology gadgets from the Chinese/Leap partnership. Luckily, the Giant Leap in addition to their technical abilities are also great bankers. Soon we will have Citi-Leap and Chase-Leap credit cards. Watch out for the reverse mortgages the Leap will soon be offering.

THE USS KALAMAZOO: WWII SPACE/TIME EXPERIMENTS ON LAKE HURON

In Bay City Michigan there is a tavern called the Break Wind Marina Bar and Grill. This is the place where old timers meet who have various stages of kidney and liver disease. One of these jaundiced old men tells a tale that caused us to open up an investigation into a government cover-up. This is a tale of scientific fact told like fiction. It is a tale of space/time travel not in days or weeks but, in a wink of an eye. A tale of super science not from the 21st century but, from 1944. A tale of how America, on the cusp of defeat, was able to change it’s destiny through a desperate attempt to overcome the laws of God and nature.

My brother Ted and I had traveled to Bay City from our base in Northern Michigan. I would have brought along my brother Mike but, he was still in the hospital after picking and eating some mushrooms he found in the woods. We were there to get the story of the USS Kalamazoo from the last survivor from that ship. We had found on an Internet site that the Kalamazoo was rigged up like the USS Philadelphia, with all kinds of technology for some type of space/time experiment during World War II. The Philadelphia, which was launched in the Atlantic ocean, was apparently unsuccessful at achieving it’s goals however, the USS Kalamazoo, which was launched from Saginaw Bay just off of Lake Huron well, it has been suggested that the later ship was successful in it’s mission and in fact, brought an end to World War II.

The old timer we interviewed was named Bones Spockorsky. Spockorsky was a sailor on board the USS Kalamazoo which, was Built in the old shipyard in Bay City Michigan for use as a warship during World War II. There are no official records indicating that this ship ever existed. Spockorsky has a long criminal record in the field of petty crimes. It seems he will do almost anything for money to buy a few sips of whisky. He agreed to meet with us for $12.00. He wanted $15.00 but, I used my charm to get him to go lower. I just remembered William Shatner at Priceline when I was negotiating for the exclusive rights to this story.

The gray bearded, poorly dressed old man told us the following tale:

“The Philadelphia was the first of the time travel experiments tried out by the navy. It ended badly for the crew but, they did travel in space and time. A few years later, when Hitler was getting ready to invade the U.S. the navy sent a group of us seamen back in time to stop the A-bomb from being used by the Nazis in Europe. You see, in the other time line the Germans won the war.

So we went back in time and ended up just off the coast of Normandy. We were looking for a German ship called Poor Judgement. No wait, Poor Judgement was the pony I bet on last week that lost. No wait, poor judgement was what I had when I married my first wife. No wait, the name of the Nazi boat was Judgement Day. Well anyway, we found the ship, sunk it and the time lines became what they are right now. The only survivors on our ship were myself and that Road Enberry guy that went on to do that starhip show. He was a navy guy you know. The rest of the crew was burned to a crisp from the radiation and they were never heard from again.”

The mans story sounded fantastic but, he evidently had no proof to back up his claims. However, based upon my own knowledge of space/time manipulation and travel, I’d say his mind certainly grasped the rudimentary parts of time travel. I’d like to be a time traveler myself one day so, I’ll have to give this story a thumbs up. It is clearly evident that Mr. Bones Spockorsky was telling the truth.

THE REPLACEMENT FACTORY: THE ALIEN PLAN TO REPLACE US

Recently, a local newspaper indicated that the government will be using economic stimulus money to build a tunnel under the National Park called Sleeping Bear Dunes (known as the secret alien earth station, Area 91). Tourists will be trucked under the sand dunes via a train. No one currently studying UFO phenomenon has ever considered the possibility that the government would be so blatant in its attempt to work with aliens to take over the earth. The government is proposing to take trainloads of unsuspecting tourist underground to perhaps the largest alien base on the planet.

What will happen to the tourist once they are underground and out of site? It is hard to say. Perhaps they will be dissected by alien doctors to find out all the weaknesses in human anatomy. This does not seem reasonable since aliens have been visiting the earth for thousands of years and have had the opportunity to snatch away millions of humans for dissection and experimentation. Another theory that we have postulated at this publication is that aliens will be kidnapping humans for some sort of alien/human hybrid. Of course like our quandary with the dissection theory, aliens have had millions of years to produce hybrids. It is unlikely they need to create even more hybrids than they have already.

Having eliminated all other possible motives for the tourist tunnel to alienville, it is obvious that the aliens and our government have conspired to commit the most heinous crimes against the laziest people amongst us. Namely, those who would rather ride a train underground than, walk overland with an open view of Lake Michigan. That crime would be the total replacement of our bodies and minds with exact duplicates. These duplicates would be identical to us in every way except, their souls would be from another world.

Mind transference has long been used in science fiction stories to explain how aliens would take over the earth. But, here at Humor News Outerspace Nuts, we work only with facts, not fictions. We therefore concluded that we must do some field research to find some facts. My brother Mike and my brother Tim went out to Sleeping Bear Dunes in order to look around for any strange anomalies. I and my colleague Girard went to a local bar to see if any of the locals had heard anything about strange activities near the Dunes.

While I sat in the bar waiting for Gerard to show up, I noticed in the paper that there was a bumper crop of peas being harvested this year. One farmer noted that some of his pods were “gigantic”. This led me to begin to form a hypothesis as to how the aliens were creating their humanoid duplicates. It seems sometime back when I was very young; there was a news show on TV documenting how aliens took over the earth by leaving giant pods next to people while they slept. It might have been the Today Show or 60 Minutes, I’m not sure. It does not matter what the show was, all that mattered was finding the evidence now so these pea pod people could be stopped. If the aliens were not stopped the new tunnel would be like a replacement factory. Like in the news documentary I remember from my childhood, humans would be replaced by identical aliens grown from giant pea pods. Humans would come in one side of the Sand Dunes tunnel and aliens would emerge from the other. Somewhere along the trip the people would go to sleep and the giant pods would become replacements. After the replacement process was over, the human body would be nothing more than an empty shell that would turn to dust so there would be no evidence of the skulduggery

Upon Gerard’s arrival, I instructed him to begin asking people if they knew of any giant pea pods in the area that might be big enough to fit a human inside of them. Gerard went around to at least a half a dozen tables but, he reported to me no one had heard of such pods. It of course seemed curious to me that no one had heard of the pods so, I decided to reinterview the people Gerard had just talked to. I immediately struck pay dirt. When I asked if they had heard of anyone talking about giant human sized pea pods, they all said yes. It seems everyone Gerard had talked to had heard of the giant pea pods. This was proof positive the aliens were at work in Area 91. As far a Gerard not getting the same answer I received, it seems my tact at asking difficult questions was simply greater than his.

Unfortunately, my brothers turned up no new evidence at the dunes. I’m afraid they spent more time on the beach talking to girls than doing any actual investigation. I would have gone to the Dunes myself but, my car was recently destroyed by a big foot during an overnight investigation in Kalkaska.

So, we may only have limited proof of the conspiracy to replace humans with aliens via giant pea pods. After all, the tunnel is not even being built yet. One thing is for sure; we will be watching and paying close attention to any and all happenings in Area 91. I will also never eat pea pods again because I’m afraid someone I know could be inside. My uncle Marty disappeared a few years ago near the Sand Dunes. I never have believed the story that he sneaked off to Canada to avoid paying child support.

GOVERNMENT SAYS WE ARE ALIEN CONSPIRACY MOUTHPIECE

By Ted Colin
The Government has accused The Humor News Nuts blogs of being nothing more than a mouthpiece for the Space Alien Conspiracy Party. It is true that I and my brothers have in the past volunteered to work for political candidates that run on the Space Alien Conspiracy Party platform. We hope that one day SACP will be a major force in politics. Then, once and for all, the many alien conspiracies discussed by people that think as we do will be taught as fact to the general population. And the mundane problems we have on planet earth (wars, famine, and climate change etc.) will all pale in comparison to the problems we can create once we begin to deal with intelligent creatures on other worlds.

In regards to dealing with intelligent creatures on other worlds, so far the moon creatures known as the Giant Leap have not retaliated for our hostile attack carried out two weeks ago. It is interesting that one of the scientists who helped to discover ice water on the moon has been recently arrested for spying. The government’s cover story as to why they launched the missiles was that they, the government, were trying to find water on the moon. Of course it was really an attempt to knock out an anti-matter refining plant controlled by the Giant Leap. Well, somehow the arrest of the lunar ice guy within weeks of blasting the moon where the ice guy said there was ice doesn’t hold water. We will continue to follow this developing story.

NASA LAUNCHES INTERPLANETARY WAR

By Tim Colin
This week NASA will bomb the moon. This will be a first strike against the ancient and very advanced civilization of creatures known as the Giant Leap. Many scientists expect a massive retaliation against North America will follow. This retaliation may affect the future of mankind for thousands of years. Some scientists believe we may not survive the retaliation. Many scientists believe that the lucky ones won’t survive the initial attack by the Giant Leap. Every scientist agrees that an attack by the Giant Leap will have catastrophic effects for mankind.

It is truly ironic that all this tension between our two planets began 40 years ago this month. Neil Armstrong of Apollo 11, was the first human to have direct contact with the Giant Leap. As Neil Armstrong stepped off the ladder that led from his lunar module he said some very garbled words that were immediately fixed to sound like “One small step for man, one giant leap for mankind.” In fact he actually said “One small Leap is as big as a man, one Giant Leap could destroy mankind.”

The two races of Leap’s were waiting to greet the early astronauts. One race was known as the small (or Lesser Leap). The Lesser Leap was a race of slaves who served the Giant (or Giant Leap). All the races of Leap’s were completely covered in mated long tan hair with the exception of one giant eye toward the top of what might be described as a head. The mouth and nose were undistinguishable under the mass of hair. All Leap’s had two arms and hands with three fingers on each. They also had two legs and two feet with three toes on each foot. Overall, a Leap looks just like a big hairball with an eye and two arms and two legs.

The first negotiations between Leaps and humans went fine. NASA was allowed to land on specific spots on the moon in order to carry out research. The problems began when the Giant Leap noticed that NASA kept leaving a lot of debris on the moon after each mission. The Leap had kept the Moon pristine for millions of years but, after just one visit humans had left a mess. Further Apollo missions served to further aggravate the Leaps. Finally, stuff hit the fan when the Leap found that astronauts were dumping their waste on the moon. The Leap felt that this was equivalent to doing number two in a neighbor’s front yard. The Great Council of Leaps decided to ban NASA from ever returning to the moon.

Since NASA has been banned from the moon another great nation called China has been in constant contact with the Giant Leap. The transfer of technological knowledge from the Giant Leap to China has made the Chinese the greatest engine of manufacturing the earth has ever known.

Of course making China a manufacturing powerhouse was really an act of revenge against NASA and the United States. The plumes of poison that bellow out of Chinese smokestacks are destroying the air we breathe and, the stuff made in china is strung across our planet. You would think the Giant Leap would feel by now that they have their revenge against us for littering up the planet with out crap.

Unfortunately, NASA has decided that the Giant Leap are secretly processing anti-matter. Everyone that has ever studied Star Trek in science class knows that anti-matter is the most powerful source of energy in the universe. NASA believes that the Giant Leap is planning to build an anti-matter reactor on the moon. After the reactor is complete it is believed that the Giant Leap will be able to use a projected energy weapon against the Earth or any planet in the solar system thus, making the moon into a death star.

So, we will strike against the Giant Leap before they have completed their project. NASA is going to drop an atomic bomb on the scientific facilities that are set to begin creating anti-matter. According to NASA officials, the anti-matter must be destroyed before it is created. NASA officials point out that even if the Giant Leap don’t attack us directly, it would be terrible if some anti-matter were to one day end up in the hands of terrorists.

Now we all must wait to see if the Giant Leap retaliate after their anti-matter facility is destroyed. NASA has of course put out a lame cover story to pacify any armature astronomers who might happen to see the massive explosion on the moon. NASA has issued a press release stating that the explosion is for gathering moon dust by an orbiting satellite. The satellite will then analyze the dust to see if there is any water present. What is interesting is once the moon dust is supposedly analyzed the satellite will then hurly itself into the bomb’s crater thus, setting off a second explosion. It looks more like NASA wants to make sure the job of destroying the anti-matter facility is completed. If the first bomb only weakens the structure the second bomb will finish it off.

NASA LAUNCHES ATTACK AGAINST MOON MONSTERS

NASA has bombed the moon. This is a first strike against the ancient and very advanced civilization of creatures known as the Giant Leap. Many scientists expect a massive retaliation against North America will follow. This retaliation may affect the future of mankind for thousands of years. Some scientists believe we may not survive the retaliation. Many scientists believe that the lucky ones won’t survive the initial attack by the Giant Leap. Every scientist agrees that an attack by the Giant Leap will have catastrophic effects for mankind.

It is truly ironic that all this tension between our two planets began 40 years ago this month. Commander Buzz Alden of Apollo 11 was the first human to have direct contact with the Giant Leap. As Buzz stepped off the ladder that led from his lunar module he said some very garbled words that were immediately fixed to sound like “One small step for man, one giant leap for mankind.” In fact he actually said “One small leap is as big as a man, one Giant Leap could destroy mankind.”

The two races of Leap’s were waiting to greet the early astronauts. One race was known as the small (or Lesser Leap). The Lesser Leap was a race of slaves who served the Giant (or Giant Leap). All the races of Leap’s were completely covered in mated long tan hair with the exception of one giant eye toward the top of what might be described as a head. The mouth and nose were undistinguishable under the mass of hair. All Leap’s had two arms and hands with three fingers on each. They also had two legs and two feet with three toes on each foot. Overall, a Leap looks just like a big hairball with an eye and two arms and two legs.

The first negotiations between Leaps and humans went fine. NASA was allowed to land on specific spots on the moon in order to carry out research. The problems began when the Giant Leap noticed that NASA kept leaving a lot of debris on the moon after each mission. The Leap had kept the Moon pristine for millions of years but, after just one visit humans had left a mess. Further Apollo missions served to further aggravate the Leaps. Finally, stuff hit the fan when the Leap found that astronauts were dumping their waste on the moon. The Leap felt that this was equivalent to doing number two in a neighbor’s front yard. The Great Council of Leaps decided to ban NASA from ever returning to the moon.

Since NASA has been banned from the moon another great nation called China has been in constant contact with the Giant Leap. The transfer of technological knowledge from the Giant Leap to China has made the Chinese the greatest engine of manufacturing the earth has ever known.

Of course making China a manufacturing powerhouse was really an act of revenge against NASA and the United States. The plumes of poison that bellow out of Chinese smokestacks are destroying the air we breathe and, the stuff made in china is strung across our planet. You would think the Giant Leap would feel by now that they have their revenge against us for littering up the planet with out crap.
Unfortunately, NASA has decided that the Giant Leap are secretly processing anti-matter. Everyone that has ever studied Star Trek in science class knows that anti-matter is the most powerful source of energy in the universe. NASA believes that the Giant Leap is planning to build an anti-matter reactor on the moon. After the reactor is complete it is believed that the Giant Leap will be able to use a projected energy weapon against the Earth or any planet in the solar system thus, making the moon into a death star.

So, we will strike against the Giant Leap before they have completed their project. NASA is going to drop an atomic bomb on the scientific facilities that are set to begin creating anti-matter. According to NASA officials, the anti-matter must be destroyed before it is created. NASA officials point out that even if the Giant Leap don’t attack us directly, it would be terrible if some anti-matter were to one day end up in the hands of terrorists.

Now we all must wait to see if the Giant Leap retaliate after their anti-matter facility is destroyed. NASA has of course put out a lame cover story to pacify any armature astronomers who might happen to see the massive explosion on the moon. NASA has issued a press release stating that the explosion is for gathering moon dust by an orbiting satellite. The satellite will then analyze the dust to see if there is any water present. What is interesting is once the moon dust is supposedly analyzed the satellite will then hurly itself into the bomb’s crater thus, setting off a second explosion. It looks more like NASA wants to make sure the job of destroying the anti-matter facility is completed. If the first bomb only weakens the structure the second bomb will finish it off.